Dungeons
' Dungeons & Dragons' is a Satanic "role-playing" game in which players are encouraged to forsake the all-powerful Judeo-Christian God who rules over us all in favor of demonic monsters and black magick wizards and witches corrupting your child's souls. We've never played, seen, or even been around anyone familiar with Dungeons & Dragons (or D&D for short), but we are sure that it leads to drugs, teen suicides, teen abortions, and pornographic sex violence. Eventually, they may turn to ritualistic human sacrifice, baby eating, and blood drinking. This is all correct, despite all so-called "research" and "evidence" to the contrary, which is all lies straight from the pit of hell, pushed by BIG SCIENCE! and PHARMA! and DEMONS culling your beautiful innocent pure virgin babies from the loving arms of Christ. When enough people are playing this deadly "game", they will become spell-casting witchcraft suicide assassin rapists, and bring about the rising of Satan. In a game of D&D (which might as well and probably does stand for Demons & Democrats), players are brainwashed and hypnotized with the psychological sorcery of a DM, or sadomasochistic 'Dungeon Master', who strips them of their former lives as God's children and indoctrinates them into the unholy temples of alternative new age darkness. This is not dissimilar from Charles Manson, Son of Sam, Yoga, The Church of Scientology, Buddhism, Jonestown, or watching Mr. Rogers. The "Players" (or initiated) are then asked to create attributes to their character (their new personality in the NWORPG). They can be any number of mixed-race fantasy creatures, such as Pan the Pagan Goat God, DARK elves, undead ghosts, heathen peasants, and any number of Godless short people. They are encouraged to 'rank up' until they have anough 'DPS' and 'skills points' to their 'XP' so that they can 'level' some 'cross-class' 'stats.' Under no circumstances is their character allowed to worship the Lamb of God, our Lord Christ Jesus, the only Son of the Father, who died so that sins may be forgiven (John 3:16). The gameplay structure is then entirely random, decided by the incestuous whims of the Dungeon Master and the chaotic dice (or DIE) which are used to just make shit up as they go along. This not only denigrates their respect for authoritarian paradigms, competitive sportsmanship, and ruthless winningness, it also allows plenty of opportunities for Satan the Prince of Lies himself to interfere and direct game events (and thus the Players) towards the primrose path of temptation and sin. This is in principle the same as speaking in tongues, automatic writing, backmasking, or rock & roll. All evil rules are strictly decided by the evil principles in ancient texts of Beelzebub such as the Dungeon-Master's Guide, Monster's Guide, Codex of Betrayal, or; Necronomicon! If your child or teened ager has experimented with D&D, they must be deprogrammed at any number of the well-reputed fundamentalist spiritual healing centers around the country, where they will be re-baptized, stripped and deloused, hot showered, eye-washed, and then massaged with perfumed oils in their sinful regions by one of the elder ministers for several hours. If this is not done, they will soon be incapable of functioning at social Church events, assimilating into decent American society, earning enough money to take care of you in your old age, and/or find a heterosexual life partner in order to bear you many heirs to your familial bloodline. They may even become a vagetarian! This is because children are stupid until they accept both Jesus and Ronald Reagan into their hearts, and may easily confuse fantasy for reality. The "game" (as it is sometimes deceptively called) is produced by a big corporation called 'Wizards on the Coast', which is obviously evil because Wizards (duh) and Coast (liberals). Their founder was named Joey Gygax, which sounds like a Golem or something. If you feel morally outraged, now is the time to panic. There is some sort of dak spiritual energy force to program our children with occultic witchcraft spectral Book of Spells Stonehedge Chest of Demons levitation mind crontrol astral projections HitlerNazis as portrayed in cartoons like Scooby Doo! For the record, the only Christianity-approved sports and games are NASCAR, pro wrestling, boxing, war games, war vidyuh games that kill Nazis and terrists, Civil War reenactments, Texas Hold 'Em, dueling, and football. Monopoly is also allowed, but only if white Christian players start with more money and property than other players, and 'Chance' cards are removed. No evil sorcelation games like Cricket (which is basically Quidditch), Curling (which is basically using a divining rod), and the Olympics (which is UN New World Order conspiracy takeover). Category:Evil Category:Things Category:Sports Category:Demons